You might’ve seen quite a sight on the east coast over the weekend — hundreds of slutty zombies running for the cover of something warm. It was Halloween weekend, but more importantly, it was time to witness climate change firsthand.
New York, Boston, Connecticut, and myriad of other cities that pretend to have culture were pounded by snow over the weekend, cutting the power to thousands of residents and making us all wonder what the hell we’re going to go when next year rolls around and we’re staring down the barrel of the end of the world. It seems like it’s happening. The October noreaster brought in 1.3 inches of snow, a record since the late 1860’s. Which brings us to some of the hilarious costumes we got to see over the weekend, which included such hits as….
1. Slutty Shivering Yodeler
You’ve seen them in classic Germanic leiderhosen, clutching their legs and limping down the street. Some poor emergency worker probably had to dig one out of a drift in central park, because it was that cold.
2. Slutty Shivering Jersey Shore Star
Chances are, you saw an actual star of Jersey Shore out on the street clutching their legs and making their way from bar to bar. Chances are, they’re still richer than you.
3. Slutty Weather Surveyor
That was an actual weather surveyor. She just wasn’t prepared, because the rest of us weren’t either.
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