…all Theo needs now is to introduce that 2004 swagger that he pushed in Boston. That starts by getting the Cubs to sport the look of dirty truckers, take some difficult to detect steroids…and it’s off to the races, baby. The only thing that would make it more perfect…if the Cubs were able to beat the Cardinals in the NLCS after being down 0-3. Then of course, Theo’s gang would sweep the Yankees to win the World Series, dismissing the Yanks opportunity at number 28, to help the Cubs to their first since 1908.
If you bet a dollar on that scenario, you could score a million–but in reality, you’d just lose a dollar.
Sweet mercy, there may not be another person I have never met that I dislike more than Theo Epstein. His constant jawing with Brian Cashman is finally over, but who’s gonna be set in his sights next? John Mozeliak for St. Louis? He looks kind of like Cashman. Walt Jocketty for Cincinnati?
One thing is for certain, when Theo can spend more money than anyone else, he can put together a contender. According to this new deal, he’ll have 5 years to begin the process. To introduce his swagger to the lovable, losing Cubs fans.
What Theo doesn’t realize is that the M.O. of Boston and Chicago are night and day. We’re talking, chip on the shoulder, hard core, New England city, compared to the only real city in the Midwest. The others are very large towns. I’m of Midwestern origin, do trust.
So. My verbal barrage is to say this: Being a St. Louis Cardinals fan, I…am…so…excited that Theo Epstein will be joining the Chicago Cubs organization. The rivalry with the Cubs has severely suffered over the past several seasons. I really want to hate the Cubs again. I want their fans to harass me like they mean it. I want to enjoy excellent food and great beer with these polar opposite sports fans and chant “19-OH-Eight!” *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap with passion once again.
Welcome to Chicago, Theo. Let’s get it on.
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