Come, on, Goodell!
SB Nation reported yesterday that Madonna is in consideration for Super Bowl XLVI entertainment. What the…
When you think of a Super Bowl in Indianapolis, IN, you think…Madonna. Admit it.
When I think of thrashing my uvula with a fork–that’s when I think Madonna. Not always. I’m no hater–I love A League of Their Own. But for the Super Bowl? Hand me the fork, please.
Roger Goodell is doing everything in his power to completely emasculate the game of football. He might as well rename the sport during his tenure as commissioner. Footieball. Why don’t we call it Footieball, Mr. Commissioner?
Madonna? Really? Talk about a crap marketing ploy. You don’t have to do it anymore, Super Bowl promoters–whoever you are (Roger Goodell). Everyone–and the little dog they carry around in their purse–watches the Super Bowl. Even football haters watch the Super Bowl. Everyone goes to a Super Bowl party to enjoy the vittles. Everyone watches the Super Bowl to check out the commercials. It’s not necessary to have any half time show so long as you have the commercials!
You know what I’d like to see at the half time of the Super Bowl? A band. A mother-freakin’ marching band! How novel! You know? Those bands that play at college games? Following in the grand tradition of the actual game of American football? Or how about a band with some balls? Soundgarden. Pearl Jam. Heck, smash them together for an epic Temple of the Dog reunion. Some dudes who could actually throw down with some musical violence and excitement that parallels the energy of the game.
Nevermind. What am I thinking? Please. Wheel out the 50 year old Madonna to promote her next unnecessary release–which comes out in the spring of 2012. That’s exactly what the game will need. Right now it only looks like it will be a match-up between 106 of the world’s greatest athletes.
I have long desired to have a lunch with Roger Goodell, and ask him, “What exactly are you trying to do, homey?” Roger Goodell is that dude who takes a classic car, then starts putting every unnecessary accessory onto the ride. Nothing like taking a 1966 Corvette Stingray and adding an 18 inch spoiler to the rear. When considering Goodell, of course he’d need to add the Baby on Board sticker in the window for James Harrison to see…some flame decals…personalized plates declaring his commissioning supremacy and a bumper sticker that reads, “I Brake for Brady.”