Poor Taylor Lautner. Poor, poor Taylor Lautner. The heartthrob just can’t catch a break after starring in a successful adaptation of one of the worst book to ever hit the shelves.
Lautner has moved on to the next entry in his big screen oeuvre of Abduction but critics have been saying some pretty hilarious thing about the film. Spoiler alert: critics can be mean. It must be noted that some critics think no matter what the role Taylor Lautner has, he comes off as a little bit fruity. Like, he opens his mouth and a purse falls out. That they don’t care that just because he’s got a facial structure that looks like it ethnic Matt Damon had sex with an alpaca does not mean you can expect sweet alpaca-ish or Matt Damon moves in any of his films.
In fact a better expectation for you would be that if you buy tickets, you’re going to sit through the saddest mistake of director John Singleton’s career — because by all accounts the movie is terrible. God-awful. Should have never seen the light of day. It’s more tragic than an earthquake and Chernobyl and anything bad that children dream of and fear — nightmares are wrapped up in those 2 hours of celluloid. Bad news? Lautner got paid a ridiculous amount of money (7.5 million) for starring in the movie. Which means either his agent is a genius and can see what a runaway long-term success about it will be or his agent is an idiot. Who knows? They were probably trying to cash off of his temporary fame in the Twilight franchise.
What I’m saying is avoid the mad alpaca when you go to the theaters this weekend. Go see Moneyball. Go do your wallet the favor.
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