It’s about time Derek Jeter stopped running his hands all up and down the fineness that is Minka Kelly. His championship rings must be soiling her skin.
Now he won’t be doing that anymore, as he and Ms. Kelly have split — conveniently before the latest incarnation of Charlie’s Angels airs on ABC. That’s exactly what we need, more money in the pocket of Candy Spelling and her ragtag family combined with more remakes on the TV screen
Minka had the unique honor of being named Maxim‘s hottest woman in the world and she seemed to be living a content life with Jeter, the man who managed to just recently become the second shortstop in history to surpass 3000 hits.
But that was clearly an illusion engineered by both of their PR teams. Minka wants to be with the hottest writing staff in the history of recorded history — the Manolith team. Why would she want to be an athlete, knowing that men with the gift of turning a phrase are out there, waiting to rub our bellies full of microwaved lean pockets all over her?
She’s clearly not a crazy person who wants things like fulfillment or reciprocation.
Call us, Minka.
