Sesame Street Denies Bert And Ernie Are Gay

By Mark Lorenz on August 11th, 2011

Sesame Street has released a definitive statement that denies what we’ve been suspecting all along.

That Bert and Ernie are shacking up together. Or are gay men who are dying to get married. We already know they live together, take baths together , and sing songs about their toys…what a time we live in. A time where television shows we make for children have to issue denials about whether or not their characters engage in sodomy… I for one, don’t believe it. People in deeply closeted relationships are well versed in denial, so what’s another one issued by Sesame Street?

Sesame Street took issue with the fact that an online petition encouraging the two to get married had been gaining traction and news coverage.

Let them have their fun. They’re multicolored puppets that constantly have someone else’s appendage inside of them. That doesn’t scream ‘hetero’ to me, then again, this is a street full of puppets without indications of what their relationships may be like. Aren’t you more interested in finding out what kind of tail Snuffleufugus is keeping on the side and hitting? Where are the women that would be all over Oscar The Grouch in real life?

All I’m saying is that Bert and Ernie probably have the most tame and ordinary relationship compared to most of the people on Sesame Street. They don’t have to have sex in a trashcan or with a giant bird.

Let them have their fun. That’s all it is. Harmless puppet relationship fun.