You know, you can look at the cup as being half empty, half full – the Twilight series is coming to an end…but that end will involve two more movies. Full of babies and blood. And more babies.
Over the course of one weekend, I decided to read all of the Twilight series. By the time the weekend ended, I had a beard and was unaware of what my name was. I spoke in tongues to confused groups of roommates and tried to consume any stray birds that wandered around me, because I couldn’t for the life of me understand why the books were popular. The best part? The final book is the by far the worst. Characters make ludicrous decisions, entire passages are dedicated towards honeymooning, and an infant gets born, seed plucked straight from a vampire’s loins.
And lawdy, does the trailer look like everything we could’ve possibly hoped for it to be. Angry weddings, headboard-breaking sexual encounters, and Kristen Stewart chewing on her bottom lip while pregnant. It’s like somebody printed out my dreams and formatted them in Final Draft.
The first installment of Twilight’s death comes to the theaters November 18th of this year. Prepare your mothers.
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