A Lot Of Twenty-Somethings Don’t Know What Happened On The 4th Of July

By Mark Lorenz on July 4th, 2011

That’s right, folks. It’s more than the day that Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino was thrust into the world, kicking and spraytanning.

It’s a day that all of America celebrates. It’s our independence day, the day we declared independence from the race of aliens who enslaved us to build structures commemorating their military and intellectual prowess…right? No, it’s the day where we declared we weren’t going to be subjugated by Native Americans any longer – that we would have a country separate from them and coexist beside them peacefully. Right? Guys? Bueller?

In a study that’s infuriating and unsurprising – most of the people who are celebrating Independence Day don’t know why they’re celebrating it, other than the fact that they get the day off to drink delicious beer, watch exploding things in the sky, and tube down lazy rivers. They don’t know it’s the day we declared independence from the British. 1/3 of people surveyed in their twenties didn’t know that today was that day, 2/3 didn’t know that it happened in 1776.

So if you’re holding a beer, and there’s some young punk partying near you – do us all a favor and slap him with some history. Or your open palm.