Are you a cat person? Not here. Kittens–great. Big cats–incredible. But domesticated adult cats with an enlarged sense of entitlement and a “go F yourself, provider, I’m busy licking myself” attitude…? No thanks.
However, this is for the cat people. Cat people rejoice! You can now score a fat cat in Ohio for $15 bucks–down from $70!!! 1 for $15 or 2 for $20. It’s almost like the late, great Billy Mays should be selling these suckers.
You’re calling BS, aren’t you? Nope. For real. Fat cats at the Capital Area Humane Society in Hilliard, Ohio, are offering their obese cats at a discount, hoping in turn, to offer the cats a home which will encourage them to get more exercise.
If there’s anything I know about cats, especially obese ones, it’s that they’re merely lacking the opportunity for exercise–thinking to themselves, “If only I could get out of this cage, I would join the gym, jump up on the backs of couches, destroy furniture and chase laser pointers on walls…wait, what am I thinking, these creatures just bring me food if I don’t do anything…”
C’mon, Capital Area Humane Society!? Encourage exercise? It’s one thing to fatten the cats up with that traditional Ohio diet of meat and cheese in every meal, but just be honest and say that you’re tired of looking at the furry lards lie there and do nothing, and want to get rid of them because they’re getting too freakin’ expensive to feed. They’ve got one rollie pollie in the mix that weighs 23 pounds!!! The average cat weighs like 9 pounds. Geez.
All personal bias aside, if you love fat cats, you now know where to find ‘em. And apparently they’ve got an impressive mix of “stout” cats to choose from.