Sad news for anyone who loves playful and talented genetic freaks of nature – one of your favorite people may not appear on a professional basketball court anymore.
Shaquille O’Neal, who was an NBA All-Star and champion more times than I fihave ngers, one of the most dominant centers to ever play the game of basketball, and a notoriously terrible free-throw shooter – has announced his retirement. He did it in the way we always knew he would, playfully, on a social networking site. What, did you want sky-writing or something? The basketball star had spent the last few seasons getting kicked around to premium teams, from the Cavs to the Celtics, chasing after one last championship. Or a big plate of delicious waffles. Shaq’s profile was raised recently by his introduction to Twitter, where he spent his time committing ‘random acts of Shaqness’.
So for the man who first put the Orlando Magic on the map, who crushed more basketball hoops than we thought were scientifically possible…for the man who made Steel and Kazaam, rap albums, and asked Kobe how his ass tasted – we raise our glasses.
Thank you for 19 wonderful years of professional basketball, played well and goofily.
Adios, Shaq.
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