How useless is Snooki as an individual? Well, no matter how much money she makes, she’ll never be able to drive correctly.
In that sense, she’s like a shrunken old woman with too much spray-tan. Be realistic, if Snooki showed up hunched over, dressed in the same clothes as your grandmother, would you confuse the two together? Would you be able to tell them apart? Snooki is going to be the worst old lady, whose house smells like farts, and whose farts smell like old houses.
In Italy, Snooki managed to ram her car into a police escort, sending the police to the hospital. The thing that pushed it into the realm of comedy is that the police escort was hired to escort her. She’s damaging the people MTV has commissioned to make her life easier. Next she’ll be accidentally shooting her bail bondsman.
Such is the way of the Guido. Jersey Shore is filming in Italy this month, netting the cast members 1.3 million dollars a piece to party and do basically nothing. Pretty soon, we’ll see a Jersey Shore episode of the re-imagined cribs. Lordy mercy. Can you imagine how much leopard print there would be? Enough to drive Martin Scorcese insane.
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