Jeff Allen is a dating coach for Real Social Dynamics, the world’s largest dating coaching company, but he used to be clueless about picking up women. Finally disgusted with relationships after repeatedly getting burned, Jeff decides to divorce all emotion from them and go on a hedonistic sex-romp. He details his 5 year-long, utterly shameless, and insanely successful quest to seduce as many women as humanly possible in his new book, GET LAID OR DIE TRYING: The Field Reports, on sale now. Below is an excerpt. And two lucky winners will win a copy!
Someone is sleeping next to me, and I struggle to determine who it is. It appears to be an unattractive woman with an extraordinary bad haircut. I’m not sure, but I think it’s my sister’s friend. I vaguely remember having sex with her at some point. Her mouth is open, and she’s snoring loudly. I need to get the fuck out of here as quickly as possible.
I manage to stand and begin to look for my clothing. I find my tracksuit on the floor next to the bed. It is covered in chunky vomit, the source of the stench. Flashes of dinner at the sushi bar. I don’t want to wear these clothes, but it looks like I have no choice. I shake the chucks off and pull on the pants, slip into my shoes and tiptoe out of the apartment.
………..
Before last night’s debacle I had slept with only two women in my lifetime. In both instances, I had given myself 100 percent to the relationship, heart and soul, expecting the same in return. Both times, that intensity was reciprocated for a while, but it did not last. It couldn’t. Suddenly, it becomes clear that I’ve been trying to operate within a framework that’s inherently flawed. Right here, in this freezing garage at seven o’clock in the morning, I arrive at a decision:
I am going to become a “player.”
I chuckle to myself at how ridiculous it sounds. It’s a concept that up until this very moment I would not have regarded as anything but a fantasy. A fictional lifestyle from a Too $hort rap. But the more I think about it, the more I warm to the idea. Divorce all emotion from my sexual relationships. Go on a hedonistic fuck-spree and rail a shit-ton of hot bitches; a sort of “salvation through sin.” Abandon the ridiculous notion of true love and all of its attendant bullshit. I just don’t care anymore. No more feelings. This is war: Date. Fuck. Win.
This week we’re giving away Get Laid or Die Trying to ONE lucky Manolith Reader!
Here are a few ways to enter:
The more times you enter, the more chances you have to win! Just remember to leave a comment for each contest entry you complete. (Ex. “I tweeted this” and then add the link of your tweet.)
Note: Please use a valid email address. Contest open to US & Canadian residents only.
The winners will be chosen randomly. Giveaway ends Wednesday May 18,2011.The winner will be reached by email, and announced on the blog on that same day.
Good luck!
Comments
Mike
May 11th, 2011 - 12:21:49 PM
This would be a great gag gift -- probably for my wife :( I guess the gag is on me.
1
Nicole Dunlap
May 11th, 2011 - 6:21:08 PM
It sounds interesting :D lol.
2
Nicole Dunlap
May 11th, 2011 - 6:22:18 PM
I am following on facebook
3
Nicole Dunlap
May 11th, 2011 - 6:23:34 PM
I am also following on twitter :D I am on twitter and facebook just as nicole dunlap, my name.
4
Mike R
May 12th, 2011 - 3:14:28 AM
I would like to win this book!
5
david basile
May 13th, 2011 - 5:16:02 AM
knowledge is gold
6
Linda Peters
May 13th, 2011 - 3:27:16 PM
sounds like a fun book to read, thanks
7
JR
May 13th, 2011 - 4:04:00 PM
Is this what they mean by dying with your boots on? ha!
8
JR
May 13th, 2011 - 4:04:33 PM
I am a fan on facebook (jack ripple)
9
JR
May 13th, 2011 - 4:05:08 PM
I liked this on facebook (jack ripple)
10
Miranda Ward
May 13th, 2011 - 7:55:18 PM
This book looks Great! freebiegoddess03@aol.com
11
SANDY
May 13th, 2011 - 10:29:12 PM
looks interesting
12
Rhonda Struthers
May 15th, 2011 - 2:52:25 PM
mANOLITH TWITTER FOLLOWR rhondastruthersatyahoo.ca
13
JAMES P LYNAM
May 16th, 2011 - 3:53:37 PM
COULD BE A HELP.
14
Carolsue
May 16th, 2011 - 11:26:26 PM
I want to win cause this sounds like a hgysterical book--great gag gift! Digicat {at} Sbcglobal {dot} Net
15
Carolsue
May 16th, 2011 - 11:26:50 PM
I like you on Facebook: Name: Carol Anderson Digicats @ sbcglobal.net (my FB e-mail) Digicat @ sbcglobal.net (my regular e-mail)
16
Laurie
May 17th, 2011 - 12:45:56 PM
sounds amusing
17
Laurie
May 17th, 2011 - 12:46:31 PM
twitter follower @chiquidita
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Laurie
May 17th, 2011 - 12:47:08 PM
like you on FB
19
Angela Winesburg
May 17th, 2011 - 1:57:07 PM
Following via Twitter (@Hotsnotty2), Thanks!
20
Ed Nemmers
May 17th, 2011 - 3:39:44 PM
This would be for my Brother!
21
Debbie Kennedy
May 17th, 2011 - 4:12:49 PM
Learning something new never hurt anybody!
22
Diane Baum
May 17th, 2011 - 4:51:59 PM
With a title like it has...I can't wait to read what the writer wrote!
23
Darcy B
May 17th, 2011 - 6:35:43 PM
I want to win a copy for my brother-in law who I believe is a 33 year old virgin.
24
Brittany Rebello
May 17th, 2011 - 8:51:03 PM
i want to win because it looks like a funny book
25
Brittany Rebello
May 17th, 2011 - 8:51:44 PM
liking this post on fb
26
Brittany Rebello
May 17th, 2011 - 8:52:08 PM
fb fan
27
Gianna
May 17th, 2011 - 11:26:55 PM
It sounds funny!
28
brian e.
May 18th, 2011 - 1:28:51 AM
Thanks for the giveaway...it's not Margaret Mead, but it sounds like a good read to explore the current sex-scape from a guys POV.
29
brian e.
May 18th, 2011 - 1:29:19 AM
Following YOU via Twitter: @brianpiero
30
brian e.
May 18th, 2011 - 1:30:01 AM
..."like" Manolith on Facebook: bryan e.
31
susan smoaks
May 18th, 2011 - 6:00:32 AM
i would love to win this for my friend who would get a laugh out of this!
32
susan smoaks
May 18th, 2011 - 6:00:48 AM
your fb fan tony l smoaks
33
susan smoaks
May 18th, 2011 - 6:01:11 AM
your twitter follower @fdp4life
34
Frank Kerner
May 18th, 2011 - 7:52:47 AM
This seems like an awesome book!
35
Frank Kerner
May 18th, 2011 - 7:53:44 AM
I follow you on twitter @Mommonja
36
Frank Kerner
May 18th, 2011 - 7:54:17 AM
I'm a fan on Facebook!
37
Frank Kerner
May 18th, 2011 - 7:54:51 AM
I "liked" this post!
38
DanV
May 18th, 2011 - 8:52:09 AM
I'd like to win because this looks entertaining
39