How’d Jimmy die? He ate what, tainted peanut butter? Oh god, that means I’m next.
I’ve been at home in the suburbs, doing what anyone in the suburbs does when they have to coexist with houses devoid of personalities and local watering holes that are exclusively themed with titles and sports memorabilia – eating a lot of peanut butter. For no real reason. In the interim, I happened to notice that the news was aflutter with reports of Skippy being recalled for giving people salmonella. That’s just what you need. To be making yourself a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich and then spend the next week and a half throwing up because your parents don’t know what kind of peanut butter to buy your 91-year-old grandmother.
Thankfully, my family isn’t health-minded, because if they had bought the reduced fat Skippy creamy or the reduced fat Skippy chunky, we’d all be side by side clutching each other’s hands in gurnees.
How do you get salmonella into peanut butter? Is there some sort of hidden process that drops eggs into our peanut butter that I’m not aware of?
What year is this? I’m terrified. And can now no longer eat breakfast at 2:22 in the afternoon.
Full info — they are packaged in 16.3 oz. plastic jars with used-by dates of May 16-21, 2012. The tainted peanut butter was distributed in Arkansas, Connecticut, Delaware, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, North Dakota, Pennsylvania, Virginia and Wisconsin.
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