The Kardashians managed to make 65 million dollars last year. Again, proving my theory that people are madly in love with trash, in whatever form it takes.
What have they managed to do with that money? Open fashion boutiques, pose in magazines, and not much else.. Kim Kardashian has decided to drive this point home by releasing her first single, ‘Jam’, on air with Ryan Seacrest on KIS-FM, and it’s everything that you can expect from a Kim Kardashian song – she sounds like she’s perpetually trapped in the headspace of a bored 14 year-old. The sonic equivalent of klonopin. It makes me want to ‘Jam’…something into my eyes. She looks boring during sextapes, whilst taping commercials for Carl’s Jr., and now while singing. She’s only good at standing around and looking bored and pretty in magazines. Seriously, can we just pump her up to an overexposed threshold and skip straight into the downward spiral? And can we say we’ve filled the quota on telling DJ’s to turn things up?
The song lyrics? Basically celebrate getting paid. Kim Kardashian is a creature constituted of pure fame. They don’t exist long in the wild – they’re like thylacines.
And this is what they’ll be leaving behind. Enjoy.
Comments
BishopSoroka
March 3rd, 2011 - 6:23:19 AM
The Kardashians are all whores! They are all oxygen thieves and should be forcibly sterilized. That includes the idiot boyfriends. I wouldn't do Kim with Charlie Sheen's D--k.
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Vlad the Liberal
March 3rd, 2011 - 6:28:17 AM
I would let Kim Kardashian lick my Pelosi and shoot all of my Harry Reid juice on her giant wide face.
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Doctor Andy D, the Eye Doctor
March 3rd, 2011 - 6:31:53 AM
As a physician of high stature, I would ask my legal eagle, Artie the Excellent, to bring a lawsuit on behalf of the remaining intelligent life on Planet Earth to seize all of Kardashian family assets and have them incarcerated in dog cages in Sudan (or one the Hispanic gang neighborhoods in L.A.), where they can be poked by sharp sticks.
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Kim Kardashian's Brain
March 3rd, 2011 - 6:35:13 AM
I have been a refugee for many years. I wanted to go back home for a long time, but there is no more room in Kim's skull, as it is all filled with Lemon Jello and Charlie Sheen's body fluids. Perhaps I can occupy some spare space inside Paris Hilton's empty head?
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Is this where I apply to be Charlie Sheen's new whore?
March 3rd, 2011 - 6:38:07 AM
I am 18 year old whore from Russia. I willing to put out for Charlie Sheen for permit to stay in America. Some man named VLad in NJ try to buy me, but his check no good. Can you help me out? I can put out almost as good as that whore Kardashian (don't remember which one, but they all whores).
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Defender of Polish Honor
March 3rd, 2011 - 6:40:49 AM
Please tell all peoples that Kardashians not Polish. We may be country of stupid potato farmers, but we not that stupid, like Kardashian putas.
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Dead Helbig
March 3rd, 2011 - 6:42:38 AM
OK, I admit it! I should not have thrown the Kygaru our of Plast!
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Marc from Montclair
March 3rd, 2011 - 6:44:36 AM
I have given it to a lot of whores, I mean a lot! But Kardashian whores are obviously diseased and I would not touch those Pelosis with a dirty stick dipped in Charlie Sheen excrement.
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Kim Kardashian
March 3rd, 2011 - 6:46:17 AM
What the F are all these Bullsh-t comments? Why is everybody calling me a dirty whore? I thought I had to take money to be a whore. I give it away for free! What's the deal here?
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Mark Lorenz's ugly sister
March 3rd, 2011 - 6:47:23 AM
My brother did Kim once and is mad she won't return her calls so he wrote this article.
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Kim's sister (not the fat one)
March 3rd, 2011 - 6:48:58 AM
Hey Sis, take it and enjoy it! You did last night with that Egyptian cab driver!
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Charlie Sheen's Penis
March 3rd, 2011 - 6:52:45 AM
Hey! I was shoved up Kim's hole and it was WIDE! Looks like I was #8,569! Looked like Herpes too! SCARY!!
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The semen inside the Egyptian Cab Driver's used condom from last night
March 3rd, 2011 - 7:06:18 AM
Whew! Thank the Heavens that Habib wore this condom last night! We were very afraid it would break and we would leak out into that dirty c--t! Boy does Kim's hoo-ha stink!
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Hosni Mubarak
March 3rd, 2011 - 7:08:39 AM
Hello typical peoples of American! I am shopping for a new home soon. I heard that you could fit a nice double wide in Kim K's hole.
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The fungus inside Kim
March 3rd, 2011 - 7:13:08 AM
Hey guys! Come on in! I made it nice and moist and warm in here! Don't mind the vomit inducing smell! As long as you don't stick your tongue in here and use two condoms, it should be safe. That's how the basketball team from the ghetto did it last week!
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Dirty Dildo in Kim's drawer
March 3rd, 2011 - 7:15:49 AM
Damn! Why won't she wash me after shoving me up the old poop shoot? What a dirty whore! Did she learn this behavior from Paris?
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Snookie the Whore from Seaside
March 3rd, 2011 - 7:24:51 AM
Hey, why is KK getting all the attention! I gave herpes to Ronnie and The Situation last week! Everyone should pay attention to ME!
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want to b kims husband
March 6th, 2011 - 9:42:59 PM
Hatred a bunch of fuckin haters
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I hate "want to b kims husband"
March 7th, 2011 - 7:41:52 AM
What's up?
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I f-cked Kim and I got a Disease
March 7th, 2011 - 7:45:18 AM
Met her at a club. She said she was horny and wanted my horse-sized schlong. Said some douchebag was following her around and posting stuff online using the name "want to b kims husband". She said she let him lick her shoe once and he almost came in his pants.
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The FCC
March 7th, 2011 - 7:48:07 AM
I would like to commend you all for your exercise of free speech. All except "want to b kims husband". He is obviously a dangerous idiot stalker who masturbates to photos of KK.
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I need medical help!
March 7th, 2011 - 7:50:05 AM
I listed to Kim's song and now I can't hear, I am dizzy, my penis hurts, I have the runs, my hair is falling out and I wet the bed last night. What a horrible song!
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'want to be kims husband" is a pile of turd
March 7th, 2011 - 7:51:22 AM
What a maroon!
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Mark Cuban (the smart one, not the rich one)
March 7th, 2011 - 7:53:20 AM
I want to produce a TV show where KK is driven to a Muslim neighborhood and left there to walk home.
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Sheikh Baba Babi Skazala
March 7th, 2011 - 7:56:47 AM
What an infidel! I would not let her feed my camels! She is not fit to wash my Pelosi!
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Wisconsin Teacher
March 7th, 2011 - 7:59:14 AM
I think she went to school her in Wisconsin. That's why she's so dumb!
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Chuiy B Kim's Sraka & Belyka Diyra!
March 7th, 2011 - 8:01:28 AM
I am in Poland. I want meet Kim for date. Should I bring 2 condoms or she will bring?
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Kim Kard--ian
March 7th, 2011 - 8:03:39 AM
I disguised my name so you can't tell it's me! How clever I am! I will sell pocketbooks to rich whores and make money because my hoo-ha is so loose I can't make cash that way anymore.
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Jim Morrison
March 7th, 2011 - 8:08:10 AM
You men eat your dinner Eat your pork and beans I eat more chicken any man ever seen yeah yeah I'm a back door man The men don't know But the little girl understand Well i'm a back door man I'm a back door man Oh baby i'm a back door man
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Crown Prince of the House of Saud
March 7th, 2011 - 8:32:49 PM
I like this Kim woman. She must be very skilled in manipulating one's Pelosi. I will purchase her.
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Nancy Pelosi's Husband's dirty D-ck
March 8th, 2011 - 4:55:30 AM
I would appreciate it if you fools out there would stop referring to your penis as a "Pelosi". I am the only one who is permitted to do so. Please call you penis a "biden", a "Harry Reid", a "Helbig", a "DROT", a "Soroka", or some such name.
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Jon Corzine
March 8th, 2011 - 4:57:50 AM
Hey you guys! Remember me? I was your Governor! I left because I suck. (and because they had a photo of me with an underage goat!)
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The Old Nun who threw erasers at Artie's head!
March 8th, 2011 - 5:00:29 AM
I shit myself every day (sometimes twice). Better than constipation.
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THE PRESIDENT OF CHARLIE SHEEN'S FAN CLUB
March 8th, 2011 - 12:26:45 PM
IF KIM WANT TO HELP HER CAREER, SHE SHOULD MARRY CHARLIE SHEEN! HE WILL TEACH HER HOW TO PLEASE A MAN AND LUBRICATE HERSELF!
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ANDY B FROM LIVINGSTON
March 8th, 2011 - 12:28:53 PM
HEY! DOUCHEBAGS! I DRIVE OLD CARS INTO TREES FOR FUN! SCREW YOU ALL! I WILL SIT ON A CHAIR WITH DYNAMITE UNDER IT FOR 4TH OF JULY AND SET IT OFF! WATCH ME FLY!!!
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Kim's dirty wet toilet seat
March 9th, 2011 - 4:22:36 AM
HEY! Stop peeing on me you whore! And stop dripping cum from your hoo-ha on me!
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ANDY B'S OLD TEACHER FROM SJBCGS
March 9th, 2011 - 4:24:23 AM
You dirty little bastard! I beat your ass in school and can do it again! I will wash your mouth out with the washcloth I use to wipe my asshole!
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The NewsBoy
March 9th, 2011 - 4:26:44 AM
Hitler birthday watch seized by customs officials 08.03.2011 14:11 Customs officials in Grzechotki, northern Poland, have seized a limited edition commemorative watch created to mark Adolf Hitler’s birthday in 1936. An agitated Russian man aroused the suspicion of Polish officers whilst he endeavoured to cross the border by car into Kaliningrad. To the officials’ surprise, it turned out that the man was carrying two antique watches, one of which was emblazoned with swastikas and other Nazi insignia. The watches were confiscated, as it is illegal to export pre-1945 antiques from Poland without a permit. The Hitler pocket watch, made by the firm Junghans, still functions as a timepiece, and it has now been handed to the Warsaw seat of the Museum of the History of Poland. The provenance of the pocket watch is unknown. (nh)
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Charlie Harper
March 11th, 2011 - 10:26:42 AM
My Brother, Alan Harper,has a son named Jake. Jake would like to diddle Kim K. How can we arrange that? Money is no object! I am a wealthy TV star!
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Big Important Russian Mobster
March 11th, 2011 - 10:29:21 AM
I want bend KK over and give her my Vald (russian missile)! I eat lots of oysters last night with Tony and my Vald is ready for action. I even do test with stamps last night like Tony friend say in email. I wrap stamps round my Vald and wake up to shredded stamps! Tony wake up with stamps all over palms of his hands!
40
Fuck Verizon
March 11th, 2011 - 10:31:04 AM
F*** Verizon! F*** Verizon in the morning! F*** Verizon in the evening! F*** Verizon in Japan! F*** Verizon in Hawaii! F*** Verizon in Vermont!
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Eat My Vald!
March 11th, 2011 - 10:32:24 AM
I have absolutely nothing to say!
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Kim's dead father
March 11th, 2011 - 10:34:45 AM
Hey, Hey, Hey! Enough already! Bad enough she made a movie while sucking the schwatzer's d***! I don't need to read this horrible stuff, even if its all true! Kim is a slut! I know it! Oh! The agony! If only she became an honest porn star!
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Leah
April 17th, 2011 - 4:42:22 PM
Do we really have to suffer through more of Kim!? She has over stayed her welcome. To call that a song, wow, don't know whose ears it is sweet to but certainly not mine. Enough already Kim, go away & take the gang with you. Poor Bruce is so whooped he can't even have a buck in his pocket due to his controlling wife. Did she forget he had made a lot of money before she was ever in the picture? GET OUT NOW BRUCE! Losing respect for him for not growing a set and standing up to her!
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