2011 Dancing With The Stars Cast Revealed!!

By Mark Lorenz on March 1st, 2011

The most popular television show on the air is going to come back with an all-new cast that’ll dance until they’re celebrities.

Dancing With The Stars is back with a cast that will decidedly dance, but won’t necessarily be stars until the show is over. Who’s going to be dancing their asses off?

–Chris Jericho, wrestler extraordinaire and hair-metal band doppleganger with be slamming people across the dance floor.

–Ralph Maccio will be presenting his boyish face to the masses and hoping nobody crane kicks him in the face.

–Kendra Wilkinson will continue her march towards irrelevancy and pause from temporarily selling sensationalist news articles to appear on another reality program. Which is fine. Her baby needs money.

–Romeo Miller, Master P’s son and notably rapper Lil’ Romeo will be making the dance floor more of a home than his amazing home on MTV’s Cribs.

–Petra Nemcova, model, will use her legs for good instead of evil. (ED: When I looked up the cast, it said she’s notable for being a tsunami victim. Harsh.)

–Kristie Alley will try to prove that her stint as a Jenny Craig’s spokesperson was not in vain, and hopefully the dance floor will not buckle under her tremendous fluctuating weight.

–Radio personality Wendy Williams will try to get all up in the business of the dance floor like on of her interviews.

–Chelsea Kane, Disney starlet will do, uh, what Disney trained her to?

–Sugar Ray Leonard will beat up the judges. Literally beat them.

–Hines Ward will continue the tradition of athletes continually dancing well, despite the insinuation that they won’t.

–And finally, Adam Carolla’s replacement Michael ‘Psycho Mike’ Catherwood will try to translate his radio prowess into success.