And with that I give you the top 10 list of the greatest things Charlie Sheen has said in his rage filled fiery interviews, phone calls and open letters. A fine collection of all the ridiculous, nonsensical, basically incoherent crazy talk we have known to expect from our favorite little crack pot.
10. “I wish [Chuck Lorrie ]nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon.”
9. “I think it was Nails that said, and I was really flattered that he got it right, he might be Nails, but I’m bayonets. I’m battle tested bayonets…”
8. “I’m dealing with fools and trolls. I’m dealing with soft targets, and it’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee … they lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, ‘I can’t process it.’
7. “”Let me say this about the Goddesses, I don’t think the term is good enough, but when you’re bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best term available. So if you think about it dude, I’m 0-for-3 in marriage, but like in baseball, the scoreboard doesn’t lie. Never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the hearts. And to sully, contaminate, or radically disrespect this unit with a shameful contract is something I’ll leave to the amateurs and bible grippers.””
6. “Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words – imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.”
5. “”I have cleansed myself. I closed my eyes and in a nanosecond, I cured myself… It’s the work of sissies. The only thing I’m addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent.”
4. ‘Don’t be special, be one of us.’ Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you!”
3. “Where there were four, there are now three. Good-bye, Brooke, and good luck in your travels; you’re going to need it. Badly … She’s not there now and we are and I don’t know, winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning? Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Sorry man, didn’t make the rules. Oops.””
2. “I don’t live in the middle anymore, thats where you get slaughtered, that’s where you get embarrassed in front of the prom queen and I just…it’s just not an option.”
1. “I’m so tired of pretending like my life isn’t just perfect and just winning every second, and I’m not just perfect and bi**hing and just delivering the goods at every frickin’ turn.”
Oh Charlie Sheen.. I might not understand a word that comes out of your gold filled mouth – but you make me giggle.