Every year, Apple irritates people who purchased their products in the previous year by rolling out another line of game-changing products for less than they paid.
I mean, come on, you’re going to be releasing an iPhone 5 soon?! What do you want from me, Apple? To direct deposit my paycheck into the hands of your executives and brilliant design team? To just have Jonathon Ives and Steve Jobs just personally rob me?
Hyperbole aside, Apple has unveiled the new line of MacBook Pros that’ll soon be sweeping the nation and college dorms. What’s new in the belly of the beasts? Updated HD Facetime cameras, so you can chat and engage in sexually explicit acts without having your parts pixellated, processors that are up to twice as fast as the previous generation, and most importantly….
THUNDERBOLT.
Not the things that strike hapless joggers, Thunderbolt is a new type of I/O technology that’ll allow users to trasmit data at 10 gigs a second. So if you thought you had problems with pirating before, just wait until you can transfer entire movie series in a hot second.
The 13-inch starts at 1199, the 15-inch starts at 1799, and the 17-inch starts at 2499. Start your engines. They look beautiful.
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