Poor Lindsay Lohan can’t catch a break.
Actually, she can, as her stays in jail or rehab have always resembled brief vacations. Los Angeles county judges could double as travel agents. ‘Have you been caught between bouts of thieving? Are you committing fraud or running your car over innocent bystanders? Stay in a beautiful southern California prison for a grand total of three hours, and all your problems will float away, like a wispy Michael Cera on the summer breeze.’ But between bouts of weeping openly in the courtrooms, painting ‘F-ck You’ on her nails, spending time complaining about the treatment on her family on Glee, putting stories in the press about how she may possibly get a part in the new Superman movie, she’s found the time to steal jewelry and blame someone else. Have you ever seen a multitasking trainwrecker? Lindsay Lohan must be one of the best at it. She can blow someone in the back room WHILST stealing jewelry, WHILST being high, WHILST taking pictures of her posing erotically with a kitchen knife.
The 24-year-old actress will be in court tomorrow facing charges for theft, and spent the day getting her hair highlighted. Priorities, you know.
You gotta love the girl.
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