Gisele Bundchen is one of the hottest women to walk the face of the earth. Literally. She’s like the Human Torch, save for the absence of a terrible film adaptation about the trials she’s faced.
Unfortunately, hot women are often uninformed about what things are and aren’t good for you. Like sunscreen, which Gisele claims she never uses, because it’s poison. Really? Sunscreen? I can understand not drinking alcohol, because it is technically poison, but sunscreen saves you from catching skin cancer and looking like a dried up copy of Valentino in your later life.
Here are other things that are poison, in Gisele’s eyes.
1. The New York Jets
They’re poison in everyone’s eyes.
2. Vaccines
She’s been spending too much time with Jenny McCarthy.
3. Adorable Animals
Axoltyls can not only regenerate their own flesh, they also are poison when rubbed on the skin of a beautiful Brazilian lady.
4. Wine That’s Too Fruity
Gisele likes to drink heavily. And is tired of your dessert-wine shenanigans. Give her a bottle of the good stuff already.
5. Clothes
She’s constantly shedding them, not for your sake and her career, but because she thinks that they’re toxic and may possibly kill her.
She’s launching a line of natural sunscreens to save the lives of children who haven’t informed themselves of the danger.
Comments
April Sun
February 5th, 2011 - 7:34:42 PM
Unfortunately Gisele is right: NIH panel links Vitamin A in sunscreen to skin tumors http://bit.ly/hzl2Lu
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wilma chornopysky
February 6th, 2011 - 5:16:35 PM
I just do not get her drift . of sun screen... she hates never puts it on, and than states u will look like a dried up Valentio if u don't...???
2