If you haven’t heard, Natalie Portman is pregnant. Thankfully, she hasn’t heard, and she’s still going topless in things like advertisements for Dior.
Natalie Portman topless is one of the most beautiful phrases in the English language. Followed by the McRib is coming back, you finally got paid this week, and don’t answer the door – there’s a party bus outside waiting to break into your house. Not just people in a bus, the entire bus. Portman has made a great career of playing just decent roles in good movies – but with Black Swan hitting the theaters and garnering all sort of critical acclaim – she’s finally getting her critical kudos. And last December, Dior revealed that she would be the new face for the brand, helping launch perfume brands, clothes, and the boners of men countrywide.
So, despite the recent announcement that Natalie Portman is bearing the child of Black Swan’s choreographer, we’ll be hit with all kinds of print ads featuring her in seductive poses. Obviously shot before she got pregnant. But if Dior suddenly decided to run ads featuring Natalie Portman pregnant and topless, I doubt people would complain.
Demi Moore got away with it. And Natalie Portman’s waaay more useful than Demi Moore.