Tonight’s the night you’ve all been waiting for – provided you’ve been waiting for promiscuous orange people throwing their hands in the air all night. Amongst other body parts.
Jersey Shore, one of the highest rated shows MTV has ever put to air, is returning tonight. Instead of being in Miami, the season’s moving back to Jersey, because apparently the EPA has never had a coastal terror-level outbreak of herpes. Not coming back? Angelina, the dirty little hamster from last season. Will this be the last season that the Jersey-ites terrorize basic cable? Hopefully. Jesus Christ, if I see one more episode of Jersey Shore, people in a 15 mile radius with barbed wire tattoos and fake-tans will be tased. Just, collectively tased.
For those of you keeping up with Jersey Shore-related news, Snooki has written a book, The Situation is still raking in millions of dollars, and they each make more in a year than you may possibly make in your life. For being idiots who aren’t entirely self-aware. Look at all the money you’re spending on books for grad school, all the work you’re doing, and you still may not be able to rake in enough cash to party with the stars of Jersey Shore.
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