Do you want to stalk Santa as he flies overhead, conceivably delivering the presents to the good little boys and girls of the world? Of course you do. That’s what Christmas is all about – figuring out where the bearded man is at.
Is he going to show up to your house? Of course. It wouldn’t be Christmas without an obese man breaking into your house and deactivating every kind of security system so he can steal your food and leave presents underneath the artificial foliage you’ve propped up in your living room. It just wouldn’t. And also, NORAD.
The missile defense system first put in place to protect us from Soviet bombings during the cold war comes to the public’s notice every year when it’s converted to tracking Santa’s movements around the world. Which, I think, is better. If we could convert all resources devoted to the military to celebrating Christmas, the world would be a better place. Think of the fireworks displays.
Right now, Santa’s not doing much. He’s sitting at the North Pole with an itchy trigger finger, waiting to fly around the world and pummel joy into unsuspecting children.
You can follow him in a variety of different languages at noradsanta.org.