For some reason, Google is exploding over Shania Twain. Which is surprising, because this isn’t the mid-ninties.
Shania Twain used to be the gold standard, the yardstick that many contemporary country divas were measured by – and then she dropped off the face of the earth. Was she holed up in her country cave, with an autoharp? Was she gaining authentic experience as a ranch-hand back in her stomping grounds in Canada? Or was she suffering through a long and problematic separation from her husband of many years?
Turns out, it was the latter. Domestic fun is neither fun, nor joke-worthy, but it can lead to writing depressive screeds and setting them to music – so you’d think divorce would suit her perfectly.
Not so. Shania Twain is now set to wed Swiss Nestle exec Frederic Thiebaud. What sort of chance do us mortals have, when there are single men out there who control most of the world’s chocolate supply? That’s like training to run in a race against humans when you’re a centaur – it’s just not fair. The exec was the ex-husband of Shania’s best friend, who slept with her actual husband.
Famous people. They’re just like us. They sleep with each other’s friends and then marry millionaires.
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