If you hate the sensation of reading words and not crapping yourself, you may also enjoy Transformers 2. Provided that you fit that very narrow description and aren’t one of the millions of people who bought tickets, you’ll be thrilled with Transformers 3.
Because everyone — from the cast to the directors – have admitted that Transformers 2 was a condensed pile of terrible that was put in some kind of screen-writing mold and hit with hammers until it could stand under the strength of terrible narrative.
On the flipside, it grossed over a billion dollars. So there will probably be several more sequels. Like, twelve. All starring Shia LaBeouf and his litany of the word ‘No’. But we have a dilemma. How do we have Transformers being present at the dawn of civilization be the apex of the drama? How can you top that?
You put Transformers on the moon. Hence, the title Transformers : Dark Of The Moon.
I really don’t have to describe this to you. It feature Neil Armstrong and his team discovering giant transformers, intense utterances of ‘Oh my god,’ and looks every bit as terrible and painfully watchable as the first two installments.
So drink it in. It’s going to gross billions.
Comments
Anonymous
December 10th, 2010 - 8:57:48 PM
Congratulations Mark Lorenz. You are the idiot of the day.
1
Aaron Rogers
December 10th, 2010 - 9:10:32 PM
cool
2
Zach
December 10th, 2010 - 9:57:51 PM
Seriously? Calm down. It's a movie about toys.
3
Anonymous
December 11th, 2010 - 2:20:32 AM
mark lorenz you are a troll. transformers rock go and watch narnia with your wife sucker
4
daniel
December 11th, 2010 - 10:20:53 AM
wow whoever wrote this article is a fucking dumbass troll. the transformers movies were awesome.
5
Rob
December 11th, 2010 - 11:19:09 AM
Yes, the Transformers movies WERE awful. That's not up for discussion.
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Gavin
December 11th, 2010 - 11:40:43 AM
Hmm did a 5 year old write this really mark get a job
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Michael
December 11th, 2010 - 12:21:01 PM
cool show it is going to be in july 1 2011
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Michael
December 11th, 2010 - 12:24:51 PM
who is zach he is a bad kid it is not about toys it is about a movie you jerk haha
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Michael
December 11th, 2010 - 12:27:33 PM
transformers 3 dark of the moon is cool the movie is coming in july 1th 2011 cool!!!!!!!!
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Michael
December 11th, 2010 - 12:29:46 PM
zach get out of town go to transformers land you will like it ther you cool man be a man.
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Michael & Joshua
December 11th, 2010 - 12:31:51 PM
transformers is cool
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Michael & kevin
December 11th, 2010 - 12:33:29 PM
transformers mite be cool
13
Michael & Joshua
December 11th, 2010 - 12:34:35 PM
COOOL
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George
December 11th, 2010 - 12:37:07 PM
Whoever wrote this is a retard. Transformers is the best.
15
Tom
December 11th, 2010 - 1:04:28 PM
Seriously though, the second one was garbage. Optimus Prime's big fight (the one midway through the movie, not that rabble at the end) was the only good part for me. So much of it was just filler. The first one was great. Let's hope this one is fine without Fox as the eye candy.
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Jake
December 12th, 2010 - 2:36:20 AM
Bravo Mark Lorenz. You are obviously a film genius, as the sensible thing to do with films is always to judge a film on the teaser trailer. Stop being so serious. These are films to enjoy. Sure, the second one was a little flabby in places, but it served a purpose, and the Transformers films give us everything we want, awesome CGI, brilliant robotic battles, and a bit of humour. Get off your high horse and actually write something worth reading.
17
Eric Schuetz
December 12th, 2010 - 8:44:12 AM
Okay, I loved the first TF movie. Part 2 was decent, but was not a stellar movie. I will be watching part 3 simply because of all things Transformers and Optimus Prime. I am excited to find out what the plot is. Mark Lorenz, I feel that your take on the second movie was a harsh assessment as the first two films did have an entertaining value. The Billions of dollars it drew in is due to those that loved Transformers as kids. The movies obviously played on that love, and also updated the humor. Deal with it. Stop being a run of the mill blogger and try some actual journalism.
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Matt
December 12th, 2010 - 9:43:05 AM
Just "watched" the 2nd one last night. Though more appropiatly I should say I just suffered through the 2nd one. My g/f got up and went to bed half way through, I should have done the same. Why did they decide to make the Autobots into cursing arrogent jerks? IE."Punk Ass decepticon" And the humor was so bad it made me cringe.
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Cliff
December 13th, 2010 - 12:49:42 AM
it made a billion dollars . lmao nuff said
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Dan Optimus Prime
December 13th, 2010 - 2:01:06 PM
OMG... I have a hard on! 3D!!! woohooooo
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filipi
December 28th, 2010 - 3:38:48 PM
em esse transformers vai ter novos robos ele vai ser mais legal do que os outros ele vai ter os mesmos personagens , me fala uma coisa poque voce tirou a mikaela do filme em
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Anonymous
January 5th, 2011 - 11:05:50 AM
Such a good film
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Koowie
March 30th, 2011 - 9:57:34 PM
Can't wait! Koowie.com
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