This is the last show Oprah will ever give away things to her studio audience in. The last show where you’ll be assaulted with the squeals of ravenous women excited to possess everything Oprah loves – except money.
In a way, that’s sad. When Oprah stops producing her television show, Chicago will have lost an international icon. Can Judge Mathis or Jerry Springer measure up? No. The only thing Jerry Springer gives his audience is a cocktail of emotional distress and experience with she-men. Oprah gives you joy. And presents. And the footage of what women in the wild would look like if they were caged and then set loose upon the world.
In reality, people write books about the differences between men and women. What they need to do is write books about how crazy they both are when they get into groups and are bombarded with presents, cause goddamn, son. GODDAMN. I’ve not seen crowd this crazy that hasn’t been controlled with tear gas, batons, and shields.
So watch the footage. Marvel that we were here to witness Oprah’s favorite things. This is something your kids will look back on with terror and misunderstanding – we got to witness it first hand.
Lordy, that’s a lot of screaming.
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