It’s official. It’s finally happening. The four horsemen are drawing nigh, the tides are swelling to wash over major cities, and dogs and cats are living together – Brett Favre’s retiring.
This has been a long time coming. I mean, the man is practically living off of social security benefits whilst playing football – an impressive achievement for anyone. He’s broken countless records – including sacks and fumbles — and essentially been the most consistent quarterback in history, starting the most games consecutively since the early caveman threw around balls in an effort to cudgel the heads of their prey. They didn’t call it football then, they called it brain-throwing. Anyway, pointless and really terrible anecdotes that never happened aside – Favre has said that this will be his final season with the Vikings, and consequently the final season he plays in the NFL.
Think of it, though. Think of the thousands of yards he has ran, the number of times he’s had to avoid being hit by a man who is close to three-hundred pounds, and the amount of concussions he’s suffered. Think of the amounts of pictures and creepy messages he’s sent to sideline reporters.
All in all, he’s had an impressive run. Now somebody get the Bears a quarterback with longevity, please.
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