Rock Band 3 is coming. And you know what that means. It means that more countless hours of your time will be devoted to sitting in front a giant screen and mashing on controllers that aren’t quite instruments.
But there are new and exciting additions that’ll make your frat that much more capable of starting your own band to sing songs about sorostitutes – including a keyboard controller that just has you play right-handed parts. You might not need any more piano lessons – just a sexy sesh with a Rock Band controller and songs by Joy Division. Other new additions? A guitar controller that you can actually play. We’ve crossed the line from musical entertainment, pretending to play instruments, to training people to actually play them. Thank God for that – you might’ve been tired of music education programs being unceremoniously axed across the country, and now we don’t have to worry. The chillin will train themselves. They’ll be around the world fingering their controllers furiously.
That sounded wrong. But still – Rock Band 3 is going to be released on October 26th across America. Over 75 million songs have been sold because of their inclusion in the Rock Band franchise – meaning your favorite rock stars have gotten so much richer.
From you fingering controllers furiously.