Bristol Palin Wants To Make Sweet Monkey Dance With You

By Mark Lorenz on October 19th, 2010

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You might be like me, and wishing that the Palin family donned monkey costumes and made their way out into woods to fight with the grizzlies they so often reference.

But you’d be out of luck if that’s what you expect watching Sarah’s speeches about how she’s going to singlehandedly fire everyone who is in Congress with the power of her mind – it’s happened. She really thinks that she’s capable of getting rid of everyone just because she rambles on in her Alaskan drawl, slang, whatever the hell you call it. Sitting in front of your television, gaping at Dancing With The Stars, you would’ve seen another story. A story about young Bristol Palin trying to emulate the animal her family so desperately admires. A story about monkey suits and overbites and teenage mothers getting all knocked-up.

A story truly fit for ABC. Despite being dangerously close to being eliminated, Bristol Palin thought it’d be a good idea to further restrict her movement by wearing a monkey outfit. And the results were as good as you’d expect them to be.

If you had told me that a major politician’s daughter would get knocked up and dance in a monkey outfit for the approval of America, I’d think you were pitching me an A-story in a hilariously overblown sitcom.
ROLL THE TAPE.