Good news, gang. If you like pop culture song-starlets at a discounted price, now may be your time to swoop in and grab one of the most storied one of the 90’s and oughties.
Christina Aguilera is separating from her husband, Jordan Bratman. If you’re wondering what the hell Jordan Bratman did, I’m probably in the same, confused dinghy. headed straight for a waterfall. I have no idea. But now he has to relinquish his title as the dude who undeservedly has sex with Christina Aguilera – possibly to whoever is currently reading this. They had one child together, Max, and hopefully this divorce has nothing to do with her inability to currently push good music. Seriously. Christina Aguilera has one of the most powerful voices in music and the worst kind of songs being thrust on her. She’s like the Solomon Burke of pop singers – nobody sings better, but nobody’s giving her good material.
We should seriously start a trust to help — the get Christina Aguilera a good song trust. Get Linda Perry. Get your kids, get your wives, help out a troubled pop starlet. Unfortunately, Christina Aguilera is starring in projects with Cher, and not begging for somebody to hold her down like in the Dirrrrrrrrrty days.
But your engines. Start them, gentlemen. The couple remains committed to raising their son, and a moderate amount of hell.
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