Snooki To Get Her Own Spinoff

By Mark Lorenz on October 1st, 2010

If you’ve ever watched Jersey Shore and wished for Snooki to be punched in the face again – you and I are brethren. She’s got a very punchable face.

But looking at Snooki, you know she’s the type of girl who has trouble finding love. That she’s approached by mostly desperate men who are looking for an easy notch to add to their bedpost for the night by slaying themselves a poofy-haired forest creature. Which is why it’d make sense that she’s branching off on her own and starting her own reality show – where she’s looking for love.

Strangely enough, it’s not set in the forest, as I think Snooki would be much easier to love if she were camping than in the club. Some man would be happily surprised that he hasn’t in fact stumbled across a tiny bear in the woods, but rather a woman with lovable characteristics. When your reality claim to fame is being punched in the face on a show that defines trainwrecks, it may be hard to find love. When you go for – and I believe this is verbatim – gorilla juicehead guidos, chances are your chances at love are thinner than you used to be when you were tossing your cookies on the cheerleading squad back at poofhead high.

I’m watching the hell out of this show. Too bad they’re breaking up the original Jersey Shore cast — maybe they can do a reunion down the line. Where we can see what kind of drug problem Angelina’s developed.