Any kind of respect I once had for George Lucas, he seems determined to drag out from me and flog against the rocks of despair. The rocks for which Bret Michael’s new show will be named after.
He’s decided that the entire theatrical run of the Star Wars films should be converted to 3D. The entire run of the films. Everytime George Lucas makes an announcement about the Star Wars series, he always has to include the first three, which enrages most decent thinking people. But George Lucas has a dream – to extract as much money as he possibly can from the one of the only decent entries in his oeuvre of film. So the new trilogy will be converted into 3D, and then released in theaters one every year, starting in 2012. That means you’re going to have to wait 2015 if you want to see a decent offering of the Star Wars trilogy, instead of the dreck starring the now toxic Jake Lloyd or Hayden Christensen.
Why would you even watch the first three movies? You can shoot yourself in the face with a potato gun. You could put acai berries on your crotch and sit on a nest of fire ants. All of which would be more preferable.
Whatever dignity the first had, George Lucas has tainted. With his tainty vision. So watch out for them in theaters. I’ll be the one trying to light the screen on fire with a bottle of hairspray, and a beat-up Bic.
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