If it’s not called “Sit On My Face,” or “Pocket Full of Trashbags,” I will be forced to punch an adorable kitten.
In what probably is the last move degrading the music industry since they arranged for Taylor Swift to sing with Stevie Nicks– Angelina from Jersey Shore is going to be cutting a single.
That’s right. Angelina. The girl who had trash bags instead of luggage, spent all her time getting validation from phone-calls, and trying to cockblock everyone else. From a little show called Jersey Shore, which has inexplicably become the biggest hit on MTV since The Hills. It’s still about wealth porn, but instead of rich idiots acting like idiots and us gaining confidence from it, they’ve taken the trashiest people they could possibly find and forced them to rub against each other – in the hopes that the fire that result will be hot and herpes-filled enough to burn down television records. And burn it has. The stars have launched into the highest stratosphere their stardom can take them – temporary D-list celebrity. But it’s been enough to pad their bank accounts, get them extra attention, and no doubt, get them laid. By grenades. And their grenade friends. Basically, their bed probably looks like a story your grandfather would tell about the Battle of the Bulge.
What sucks about Jersey Shore and reality shows? It puts the idea into people’s heads that they’re more talented than they actually are.
Angelina’s new single “I’m Hot,” will be out within the week. Prepare yourself, for the sound you hear are the horsemen coming.
