Facebook Goes DOWN

By Mark Lorenz on September 23rd, 2010

Today, for a large portion of the day, everyone around the world lost their best friend. In some cases, their only friend. Facebook went down.

Facebook, the website everyone has been talking about for the last four years, and will continue talking about based off of the initial successful screenings of The Social Network, collapsed on itself today, taking a large chunk of the internet traffic they’re known for down the tubes with them. This is the second time in two days that Facebook has been experiencing technical issues, no doubt from the neurons that are misfiring in Mark Zuckerberg’s brain.

What could possibly have brought Facebook down? What could’ve interrupted the largest, most comprehensive and sprawling website that contemporary internet dotcom culture has brought? I’m going to assume one of the rats that they’ve put in their energy treadmills suddenly died, leaving a void that the other rats couldn’t assume. Or maybe the people who take the dry-cleaning of the Facebook staff suddenly decided to press a lot of buttons and cut a lot of wires that they felt were unnecessary.

Whatever the reason, internet stalkers everywhere this afternoon were enraged and saddened. And it made looking at pictures of your mom WAAAAYY more difficult than it needed to be.