Proving once again, the Japanese are a very clean people, who don’t like their island being infected by outside nuisances.
Japan always has to rub its intelligence in our faces. With their Toyotas being the best-selling cars in the world, their videogame systems defining decades, and their pornography beating all pornography ever offered.
Now, they’ve figured out a way to keep spoiled and rich celebrity sluts out of their country. Just detain them for a ridiculous period of time, interrogate them on past cocaine charges that they’ve just been sentenced for, and throw them up in a shoddy motel. Seriously. Why can Japan enforce the law better than America? It’s not like Paris Hilton is contributing anything to the world. I’d understand if Stevie Wonder was caught with bags of heroin, I’d be like, “Don’t punish him too hard, he’s Stevie Wonder.” But it’s Paris Hilton. She’s so dumb, she released a perfume called Heiress – because that’s the only way she defines herself. She had to have a show on television to try to find a BFF – or a paycheck that wasn’t based off of interest accrued by her grandfather.
It’s Paris Hilton. Torture her. Seriously. If all of her possessions were destroyed in a fireball, I’m sure you wouldn’t find one person who’d be like, “She was so cool. She had that one song, that one time.”
Hail Japan. If only all of us could be as efficient as them.