Bruno Mars Arrested For Cocaine Possession

By Mark Lorenz on September 21st, 2010

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The most hilarious thing? He told the officer that he’d never done drugs in his life, this is the first time, AFTER THE BATHROOM ATTENDANT CAUGHT HIM.

I’m loving all the celebrities finally getting arrested for their rampant cocaine use. It makes me happy. Because chances are, your favorite celebrity is using cocaine RIGHT NOW. If you know somebody powerful and in the media, or someone who arranges PR, or singer/songwriter/producers who are actually successful, chances are that they enjoy using cocaine every now and again. In addition to ALL THE LADIES WHO ARE IN THE LINE TO THE BATHROOM. People use cocaine.

Now typically, POOR people who use cocaine get thrown in prison, get extended sentences, get extra charges pinned on them. But if you’ve written a few mediocre songs that manage to get in the Billboard Top 100 in 2010, chances are you can escape on probation.

And that’s probably what singer/songwriter/producer Bruno Mars is hoping that he’s going to be able to do – as he was arrested and charged with possession of a controlled substance. As snitched on by a bathroom attendant. This comes off of Lindsay’s latest cocaine drug-test failure, Paris Hilton’s arrest for cocaine, and if you’ve got the sneaking suspicion that Ashton Kutcher probably does too much cocaine – you’re probably right.

Bruno Mars faces felony charges, and possible prison time. But we know he’ll escape with a slap on the wrist.

I still have no idea who he is. But with a delicate face like that, he would be good for a prison population’s morale.