There’s one celebrity that has been launched out of the 24-hour news cycle that’s an amalgamation of everything creepy, weird, and intrusive – the woman known as Octomom – known simply because she had eight kids occupying her body at once.
Her uterus was essentially a bed and breakfast. She could’ve opened it up for extended runs of business, if she felt it was merited. She could’ve installed a pool, possibly a porch swing, and one of those welcoming signs or lawn gnomes just outside of it — instead she decided to actually birth eight children, ensuring that you could probably swing her around by her loose skin or at least fashion comestible soap from it.
Mmmm, loose skin.
Instead she made enough money temporarily from interviews and the news cycle to think that she could afford a mansion and a staff, even though her primarily skill is holding children in her stomach without bursting like a Looney Tunes cartoon.
And now she’s announced that foreclosure is impending, staring down her neck – Vivid has made her an offer to do a porn movie for 500,000 dollars. 500,000 dollars for an hour.
Realistically, she made bank just because of her vagina before, it’d make sense that she’d be able to make more off of it now. Chances are she’s going to take it, and you’ll be inundated with more stories about her vagina. And you may throw up in your mouth a little.
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