Dwight Howard Is Suing Mad

If you’re ever having problems with the women in your life, do you a. resolve them with a mediator like most other domestic disputes, b. cry about it over a beer with your friends, or c. sue them for 500 million dollars?

If you’re NBA superstar Dwight Howard, the largest, goofiest man on the planet – you choose option c. And then run with it as fast as you can to nearest attorney that won’t laugh at your large, goofy ass. Dwight Howard is suing his babymomma for 500 million dollars. I don’t know any person in the world that has slept with an NBA player who is worth 500 million dollars. Maybe Juanita Jordan, but she had to sleep with Michael Jordan – the most storied player of all time. Not a giant ballhogging center for the Magic who doesn’t perform in the playoffs, then poses in Ed Hardy like it’s a good idea.

Howard is suing Royce Reed – the star of VH1’s “Basketball Wives” (star is a term that’s bandied around loosely these days) – for leaking information to the media at least 11 times, in violation of a gag order from 2009.

This is where math gets fuzzy, as it’s not a strong suit for most NBA players. Howard claims that if the stories reached over 1,000,000 people, the damages should total around 500,500,000 dollars.

It looks like he just threw a bunch of numbers at the wall, doesn’t it? Good luck with your lawsuit, Mr. Howard.

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