I know some of we Manolithers need some help in this area. The moves on the dance floor just aren’t getting the job done. They’re not pushing you toward meet and greet, rather they’re sending women toward the door like a flying V of screaming geese.
Thankfully–seriously, thankfully a team of British scientists, whom I believe to be dudes from a local London pub in lab coats, put together a study with a couple of dancing avatars. These faceless, sexless creatures were observed by a few lovely ladies to determine–get this–which dancing moves were sexier, and which were a total turn off.
So… here’s a quick video breakdown. First, the good:
And now…the bad:
You may think to yourself, “both are awful,” but the vast majority of the ladies approved of the first one. The scientists went on to say that there were key movement characteristics, including movements of the right knee, that led to the choice of the first, but if you want the truth, that has nothing to do with it.
I hate to do this, but I feel I must. I’ve gotta come out of the dance closet. I’ve been known to cut a rug or two in my day. Regardless of the absurd Neapolitan running man mix in the first example, this fake dude has much more confidence. The second guy, his proposed gaze…it never left the floor. That was the problem. The second avatar could have owned it, but his head was stuck in the sand.
Here’s the deal fellas–if you’re looking to impress on the dance floor it’s time to come to an understanding that your moves probably suck. Severely. BUT…if you approach them with confidence, without taking yourself too seriously, you’re headed in the right direction. A few quick do’s and don’ts:
Don’t: Bite your bottom lip… Stick out your tongue… Make angry animal faces… Grab your crotch… Have eye sex with random passers-by…
Do: Control your movements… Keep the eyes up for contact… Offer a friendly smile when appropriate…