Fat Men Last Longer In Bed Than Skinny Ones

By Mark Lorenz on September 9th, 2010

There is a new study making its rounds around the internet that prove that pretty much every sexual stereotype you’ve ever held is blatantly false.

If you do it over a number of years, reading books about sexual statistics will put you in an entirely different headspace. I’ve learned that fat girls get laid more than girls who aren’t, premature ejaculation may be caused by heredity, and now, in a most recent study – skinny guys don’t last as long in bed as fat guys. I’ll repeat that. Fat guys last longer in the sack. Also, they’re more malleable, so you can probably hit them and do things to them that would ordinarily break a skinny man.

According to the Erciyes University in Turkey, men with excess amounts of body fat develop more female sexual hormones that could influence their performance. Men with high fat levels had more of the female sex hormone oestradiol, which disrupts the body’s stasis during sex, and makes them last longer while they’re doing it. Fat men lasted an average of 7.3 minutes having wild, sweaty sex, whilst skinny men only lasted 1.8 minutes.

That’s it. I’m never showering again, and eating a diet that consists of nothing but bread for the next three months. Just so I can see, empirically, if the fat scientists in Turkey know what they’re talking about.