This weekend, you’ll have a choice at the multiplex. A choice between formulaic, or slightly amusing teen comedies, or throwback to exploitation films where people get their arms cut off by blades.
Which would you rather indulge yourselves in? Go see Machete. For the love of God, go see Machete. Any movie that gives terrifying Danny Trejo a starring role where he’s kicking ass needs to be promoted and spread around like herpes to artists that make the billboard top 10. Even though most of them ALREADY have herpes.
With a supporting cast like Robert DeNiro, Lindsay Lohan, Steven Seagal, Don Johnson, and Jessica Alba, there’s no way that it won’t be awesomely bad. Or just so bad it’s awesome. Or just awesome.
Your other option is watching the Emma Stone vehicle, Easy A, which has been advertising non-stop on MTV. Also featured? Amanda Bynes, who has spent the last ten years playing a teenager. She’s like that guy in Fired Up!, whose spent his entire adult career in adolescentland.
But for the love of god, watch Machete. If you have any love for movies that were crafted by people’s love for the weird, wacky, and the obtuse – for the love of god, go see Machete. And Piranha 3D.
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