…in her new movie. You see what I did there? EAT IT, GOOGLE SEARCH PERVERTS.
It happens eventually. Teen idols grow up, and they’re either forced to make the leap to a legitimate career, or coast off the money they made prancing around in a cheap wig under a weird show premise.
Miley Cyrus is at that crossroads. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, it’s an absolute miracle that she’s come this far, with a name like Destiny Hope Cyrus. That’s either the name of a stripper, your kindergarten teacher, or somebody who gives birth to twelve different children in a span of three years. It’s amazing she hasn’t impregnated herself on a fence, or at the house of an ancient movie star.
Unfortunately, she’s also doing that thing where she branches out and tries adult roles, so we’re going see Miley Cyrus in the news trying on risqué new hats – in addition to starring in movies that should go straight to video. Such as LOL: Laughing Out Loud. Where her character gets high on Ecstasy, loses her virginity, and shows off her bikini waxing to Demi Moore.
In other words, you will see Miley Cyrus on the big screen, showing off her bikini wax. It’s like all your twisted Hannah Montana dreams came true, and all you had to do was wait.
Such is life. When this movie bombs, as it should – you will be able to find Miley Cyrus on VH1. Just half a decade later.
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