With the way that Hollywood is pumping out movies that aren’t necessarily 3d, and the converting them into gloriously overblown 3D – it’s about time somebody resurrected the old dynamic of Roger Corman films.
Where they’re so terrible, they have to be in 3D. Because in two dimensions, the plot would literally collapse on the flimsy legs they were built on. But in 3D, you can see everything you’ve ever wanted to see – such as Kelly Brook’s breasts, the breasts of porn stars, dead bodies, Ving Rhames looking concerned and other images that pretty much should be summer movie staples.
The original Piranha was a Roger Corman movie, based off of the success of Jaws. They figured Jaws could make money, based off of fish that kill people, why don’t they make a movie about MORE fish that kill people? Only they’re tiny and there are thousands of them. The most surprising thing about the remake, starring porn stars and cast members of Gossip Girl, is that it’s getting phenomenal reviews. Literally, Piranha 3D has gotten better reviews than Oscar bait like Invictus.
So I will be there with bells on. Possibly with piranhas attached to the bells. Because that’d be appropriate.
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