Never before has teenage decision-making been in such a precarious spot. The Teen Choice Awards have been taped, and the winners are truly a cluster of what the hell.
I really really like the Teen Choice Awards. I did, but it’s usually a good national barometer as to where we’re going as a society — and whose publicists are on overdrive. And it’s to hell. Slowly rolling towards hell, like Sisyphus’ boulder. Apparently, teenagers are hung up on vampires, and their amalgamation of sexuality and carefully plotted television shows. Sometimes.
The biggest WTF wins of the night? Keep in mind, these are the Teen Choice Awards.
<h1>Choice TV Show (Sci-Fi/Fantasy) – The Vampire Diaries </h1>
I know it’s a hit for the CW, but the competition was from other CW shows, then Fringe and Lost. How many teens do you know watching Fringe? I don’t know any adults watching Fringe. I had no idea Fringe was even still on the air.
<h1> Choice TV Show (Action) – NCIS: Los Angeles </h1>
I wonder how much that win cost CBS, in terms of promotion. You know those teens. They be crazy about LL Cool J and Chris O’ Donnell.
<h1> Choice Movie Drama – The Blind Side </h1>
Again, really? I was completely unaware about the underground teen craze for The Blind Side. It must’ve been the same kind of craze that netted Sandra Bullock an Oscar. And by craze, I mean money and trays of cocaine.
<h1> Choice Movie Actor – Ashton Kutcher, Killers </h1>
Wow. This must’ve been the saddest award show in history. The only award Killers should’ve one is most literal songs ever used during a movie.
<h1> Choice Movie Comedy – Date Night </h1>
I so believe that teenagers waited in line for days to watch a Steve Carrell/Tina Fey romantic comedy about a couple who is trying to avoid being killed.
Of course Twilight cleaned up, but seriously? At this point Hollywood’s throwing money in the air, seeing which screeners it lands on, and sending them out. En masse.
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