It’s time for everybody to utter an enthusiastic, Keanu-like “Whoa.”
You at one point probably loved playing Pokémon. So did scientists, as they have recently announced that the Triceratops didn’t actually exist.
It’s just the unevolved form of a Torosaurus, the most Italian dinosaur who ever walked the earth — who we can guess would periodically use its front longs to gesticulate enthusiastically about things that it saw earlier in the day. This is according to scientists John Scannella and Jack Horner – who will now bear the responsibility of ruining my childhood.
The triceratops didn’t exist. You know what that means? That means every installment of the Land Before Time was a lie, told by producers and directors who didn’t know science. That means Jurassic Park, with the poor sick Triceratops who managed to poop all over the place, was a lie. That means every preschooler who’s obsessed with dinosaurs will now have to learn that the happy-looking one who ate grass and occasionally fought off predators with their horns were just aimless juveniles, looking for a place to drink their dinosaur beer and sweet grass to munch on.
The discovery would explain why no fossils of juvenile Torosauruses were found – either that or there’s a man who has hundreds in his garden shed — Maury, the Torosaurus herder.
Comments
Madison
August 2nd, 2010 - 3:50:38 PM
Well it's not like they never existed... It's just that they were babies from another dinosaur. I think it's really cool though. Think about all the stuff we can learn from millions of years old bones. It's just crazy to think about. Although I'm a little bummed out that the only dinosaur I know anything about is a baby torosaurus. Which obviously just sucks.
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kimberly clayton
August 2nd, 2010 - 4:23:12 PM
I feel cheated, and mind fucked. D:
2
Sean
August 2nd, 2010 - 6:42:51 PM
First Pluto and now this!? Damn you, science!
3
Sean
August 2nd, 2010 - 10:42:36 PM
Well, I think these jokers should take a good look at whether the torosaurus were just the barry bonds' and jose canseco's of the triceratops species? what about that?
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Jasmine
August 2nd, 2010 - 11:05:43 PM
Or MAYBE the torosaurus never existed and its just the adult form of the triceratops! Hah!
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Melissa
August 3rd, 2010 - 7:29:03 AM
Yeah!! That is awful! i always colored triceratops the best in the coloring books! RUINING another childhood happiness!! DARN YOU SCIENCE!!
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daddo
August 3rd, 2010 - 8:04:43 AM
What next?...no Santa Claus? no tooth fairy? and what about the Easter bunny?
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Jennifer
August 3rd, 2010 - 8:38:13 AM
Actually, going by nomiclature, Torosaurus never existed. If they indeed were the same animal, just different life stages, then Torosaurus would be the name to be defunct. The name that was published first, in this case Triceratops by about 2 years, is the name that is, for the better term, leagal. Just as with Brontosaurus and Apatasaurus, same animal, two different names, but Apatasaurus was named before Brontosaurus, so Brontosaurs became defunct. It's the way things go in naming a new species. I'm a Paleontology student, so I know what I'm talking about.
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TheRowan
August 3rd, 2010 - 9:27:49 AM
This article is incorrect. Actually what paleontologists now think that the Torosaurus were young Triceratops. Unlike the statement above only young remains of Torosaurus have only been found no adult remains have been found to date. There is an area in South Dakota called the Bad Lands which have yielded numberous dinosaur boned of many species including the Triceratops. Since these two dinosaurs were siminlar, but just different enough they had classified them as two separate species. Now with the new findings it answers the question why no adult remains of the Torosaurus had been found. The NBC Science page is very interesting and keeps one up to date on all kinds of Science and Technological updates.
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e pattob
August 3rd, 2010 - 10:36:23 AM
Sometimes I think scientists never existed. Whatever the case, I'm keeping my triceratops toy handy in case I'm attacked by a deranged scientist.
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James
August 3rd, 2010 - 11:10:25 AM
They totally existed. A couple rogue scientists spouting untruths. What's next? Alcohol kills brain cells?
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David
August 3rd, 2010 - 3:36:46 PM
I actually have a triceratop in my back yard and it is 3000 years old. So I don't think it is a baby anymore and it still 3 horns on its head. And last but not least. My olest daughter got a call a couple of years ago about her solar system with pluto... They changed her grade from an A to an F. Santa does exist also my son saw him 8 years ago. We don't have Jesus's bones either but I know he exist still today.
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Juan Juevo
August 12th, 2010 - 9:58:16 AM
What about the Power Rangers? Who will protect the world if they can't form the MEGAZORD!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
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Anonymous
September 4th, 2010 - 10:31:28 PM
That was only a few scientists making that claim. The rest of the community seems to be demanding more evidence for this (especially since Torosaurus was smaller than Triceratops, among other significant differences) before they'll agree that this theory is a fact.
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Leocadia
September 14th, 2010 - 5:30:55 PM
What!!!! No tri's how can we go on knowing that science has yet again killed another knowing!!!! and i agree with Jasmine
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