Justin Bieber is hot these days. At least, that’s what the kids tell me as I’m shrieking at them to get off of my lawn. But what’s even hotter? Writing books.
If you combine the two – whoa, man. You have some kind of a supernova. Justin Bieber in literature? Justin Bieber’s been on CSI, which smashes the hell out of any book ever written. Can books take off their sunglasses and speak in pun-talk? Chances are, they can’t. I wouldn’t know, I’ve never read one. And now Justin Bieber is ready to grace the world with his memoirs. Which means that his growth as a person and an artist has probably peaked already. You will look forward to seeing him at Promises, or any number of related rehab centers for egomaniacal child stars. Or wherever the hell Jesse McCartney has wandered off to. Which we can only assume is the Poconos, or another secluded island.
What’s the book to be titled? Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story. They should’ve just retitled it Teen Stars, Colons, and Clichés: It’s Time For An Orgy.
Knowing the climate, though, it’ll probably sell eleven million copies. At least twice. And come in a sparkly book jacket so people don’t lose their interest.