Breaking: Lady Gaga Loves Cocaine

If you’re surprised that Lady Gaga does cocaine, you’ve probably never seen somebody in the throes of a cocaine high.

They generally dress ridiculously, make grandiose statements, have gigantic pupils, and love dance music. Hey, wait a minute – that pretty much describes everything that Lady Gaga has done, ever. But in a new interview with Vanity Fair, Gaga crosses the line from being a memorable pop-star to eight different kinds of attention whore. Included?

-Gaga doesn’t like having sex with people, because she fears that they will steal creativity from her vagina. I wish I was paraphrasing – but it’s pretty much verbatim. There have been no known recordings of creative-vagina theft, but scientists say that creative-vagina theft syndrome is probably what happened to Lauryn Hill. Despite being afraid of vagina-theft, and saying she’s celibate, Gaga then describes herself as a slutty Italian girl.

-Nobody made Gaga who she is today — despite being signed by Interscope and having a financed team of stylists behind her.

-Gaga still does cocaine recreationally, despite saying that she was at one point addicted to it. Addicts doing cocaine recreationally does not always compute. Also, have you ever seen a picture of her where she DOESN’T look strung out? I’ve tried playing that game, and failed miserably. It’s like trying to find a picture of Lindsay Lohan where she doesn’t look 50.

And other gems. You can find all of the Gagagoodies in Vanity Fair, the September issue.

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