Like a salmon swimming upstream to his inevitable destination where he will die and respawn – Lindsay Lohan has wound up in rehab.
What I want to know is how someone whose existence is basically synonymous with someone who is cracked out and needs help just AVOIDS getting help. How the hell does that work? Like, if I were someone who at one point was on top of Hollywood both figuratively and sexually and then devolved into a laughingstock and a joke, rehab would be first on my list of places to go. After Cabo and wherever it was that heroin was the cheapest. Which I think would be Thailand.
Anyway, to avoid going to jail for 90 days, Lindsay has checked into a sober living house. She was first ordered to go to jail for a little while, but the jail has a strict no-drug, no-smoking policy. It’s much easier to sneak drugs into a sober living house than a jail.
At least, that’s what I’ve heard. Before heading off to rehab, Lindsay posed topless for German GQ. Which is EXACTLY what I imagine someone doing before they go off to rehab. Posing for a German beauty mag.
Here’s hoping we get many more years of entertainment from Miss Lohan.
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