Supposedly, they have found a Chupacabra in Texas. Supposedly. I have been to Texas and have never stumbled across or even seen something that remotely resembles a Chupacabra.
Chupacabra are supposedly mystical creatures, that use their mystical powers to suck all the blood out of goats. I’m serious. They suck the blood of goats, and have been responsible for a myriad of goat suckings and that’s why they are terrifying. Which just sounds like the fears of indigenous peoples.
‘THERE’S A MONSTER OUTSIDE.’
‘OH, GOD, IS IT COMING FOR US?!’
‘NO, IT’S GOING TO KILL ALL OF OUR GOATS!’
‘TRULY, OUR LIVES ARE TERRIBLE!’
Apparently, in a town in Texas, they’ve managed to capture and kill several creatures that are suspected of being chupacabras. Only there’s one problem – they all look like dogs with mange. Like the locals have never seen or imagined dogs with mange, and the only thing that classifies them as mystical creatures is that they’re inconceivably and noticeably ugly. If that’s the case, most of my relations and myself would also be mystical creatures. We’re not lookers, you see – but we certainly don’t drink the blood of goats.
Worst. Supernatural. Creature. In history. The chupacabra is so boring it managed to make an episode of the X-Files terrible. Wrap your head around that.
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