John Stamos Is Allegedly Freaky

By Mark Lorenz on July 13th, 2010

Just when you’re starting to recover your faith in Hollywood, stories leak out. Disturbing stories. About the man who has been your favorite celebrity since Full House.

Can you sing the theme song from Full House? Of course you can. Why? Because of John Stamos. John Stamos was the first celebrity I saw in Los Angeles, and he still had full head of hair and a beautiful woman on his arm. He was at the Don Rickles show, and Rickles made fun of him for trying to grab publicity. Little did Stamos know that in less than a year, all he’d have to do for publicity was get involved with an underaged girl from Michigan, strippers, cocaine and extortion.

Wait a minute, back the bus up, cocaine, strippers, underage girls and extortion? You heard me. All the basic food groups.

Supposedly some girls from Marquette noticed John Stamos hanging out in Michigan one day, and he invited them up to his room, where he then ordered strippers and cocaine. The girls got pictures of Stamos and the strippers and cocaine, they went their separate ways, then claimed that Stamos was the father of one of their babies and if he didn’t pay them 680,000 dollars for the photos they took, they’d release them.

Stamos rightfuly contacted the FBI. I would’ve LOVED to hear that conversation.

‘This is John Stamos, and there are girls who are trying to extort me and claim they have my baby and photos of me with strippers’

‘Who?’

‘JOHN STAMOS’

‘………have mercy.’

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