According to our psychic cephalopod, Spain is going to win the World Cup. Spain. Get your tears ready, Oranje fans.
Paul the psychic cephalopod has quickly become the world’s most popular octopus, usurping the previous titles from that octopus that killed sharks in aquariums, that thing from 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, and that one that played the xylophone in ‘The Little Mermaid’. Thankfully, none of those octopi had names that we had to struggle with – and Paul wins over all of them.
Spain has had one of the most talent-laden teams in history, with players like Piqué, Torres, Iker, and Villa leading their ordinary FC squads to repeated victories in regular season play, and together functioning like a well-oiled machine. They’ve also never had a berth in the World Cup final, same as the Netherlands, but they’re heavily favored to win this Sunday.
Personally, I hope the Netherlands win. Not because I don’t think Spain has a talented squad, but they’re the boyband of the tournament. They’re the O-Town of international soccer. Unfortunately, Paul’s pick probably has high stakes. If Spain wins, Paul will no doubt become a tourist attraction. If they don’t, mad Spainiards will probably stake him and eat him, as German fans have already threatened.
What conclusion CAN we draw from this? People are weird. I mean, fortune telling octopi? That’s such a weird thing. **hides magic koala**
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